Thursday, January 12, 2006

How to hide a tobacco company

Are you being sued a lot? Getting some bad press and worried about sales plunging? Here's an easy fix - change your name! As a bonus, new consumers won't know they're supporting a tobacco company when they buy Kraft Foods, maker of brands such as Kraft, Maxwell House, Nabisco, Oreo, Oscar Mayer, Philadelphia, Post and Tang.

2 comments:

Liz said...

I can't resist commenting because I felt the same way, and stopped buying oreos when PM took over Nabisco!

However, they are separate entities. Profitability and sales for one branch are not carried over to bail out other branches, help with legal expenses or make them appear profitable. Think of this as "corporate rezoning". They're extending the boundaries of their corporate "city" to incorporate nicer neighborhoods. So I can still go visit Nabisco, even if now the border moved and the Nabisco house is in the same town as the Philip Morris house. I just still won't go over to Phil's house! Just my $.02.

SaraRow said...

I do concede your point - if I buy a box of Oreos, I am not giving my money to Philip Morris USA. In fact, Kraft Foods is a public company in its own right, though nearly 85% of its shares are held by Altria.

(Here comes the soapbox...)
But if I buy a box of Nabisco Shredded Wheat, my money doesn't stop at Nabisco. A chunk of it goes to Nabisco's parent company, to the same company that owns - and profits from - tobacco company Philip Morris USA. Altria relies on the continued adoption and use of tobacco for nearly 2/3 of its revenue, regardless of whatever other products it owns.
(...and done with soapbox)

So to continue with the analogy, if I visit the Nabisco house and bring a dozen cookies, the guy who owns the Philip Morris house gets two of my cookies because he also owns the Nabisco house. And that dude does not deserve my cookies :)